One of the things I’ve enjoyed reflecting on the most since I began blogging three years ago is how much I’ve learned. I’m continually amazed at all the knowledge I’ve acquired, especially in the two years since I graduated college.

Of course, I like to attend many conferences for bloggers and social media enthusiasts in order to learn, but I’ve realized that the learning doesn’t stop once a conference session is over and I step out into the hallway. It goes much deeper than that.

During the past three years of my life, I’ve learned a lot about relationships and friendships. I’ve learned about loyalty. I’ve learned about honesty and integrity, and how important it is to have all these qualities in order to be respected in the realm of social media.

Many children and teenagers are currently in the process of going back to school, beginning a new grade, meeting new people, and maybe even getting acquainted with a new academic institution. I learned a great many lessons within the walls of my schools and colleges, but I learned a great deal more from my interactions with many people. 

I can vividly remember shopping with my Mami for school supplies, carefully reading her my teacher’s list of requirements. I would get so excited about buying new notebooks, binders, pencils, pens, and loose-leaf paper. And, of course, every year I was interested in a different “theme” for my supplies. One year it was pink unicorns, another year it was Latino heartthrobs. 

But one particular memory stands out in my mind– one that remained consistent from one year to the next: my anticipation. With the plastic wrap still on my loose-leaf paper, and my dividers still not clearly labeled, the coming year held all the possibility and hope that only a year that hasn’t been lived yet can hold. 

When I graduated from the University of Central Florida, I had to choose between attending the ceremony or attending the BlogHer Conference. Of course-- I chose BlogHer, but I brought my cap along!

Now, long after having graduated, I miss the structure of my education, how my day was planned out according to each class and the assignments I had. I miss the daily interactions with peers who I didn’t always like, but that I now miss not getting to know better. 

Yes, I even miss scrambling to get to class on time when the warning bell has rung, and feeling my heart pound and the adrenaline rush when fearing I wouldn’t be able to find my homework. 

I miss the constant motivation of getting work done– that each assignment would guarantee us a grade– An “A” was a true reward, an “F” a true punishment, and anything in between was simply subject to personal interpretation. But I miss knowing that every action taken had a direct result; that nothing was overlooked or taken for granted. 

That’s not always so in the world of social media. Many times, we’ll spend hours a day writing a post, then promoting it on twenty different social outlets or pages, only to find a handful of people will actually read it. There’s no guarantee of either reward or punishment for a job well done or a job botched up. 

But life changes without the “structure.” We adapt to the changes in our environment, in our daily routine. We make our own rules, then rewrite them. We learn to live without the “back to school” rush. 

We learn. 

**Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Britax (follow on Twitter) and I will be compensated. I am a member of the Britax Latina Advisory Board. All ideas and opinions are my own. 

When the speakers for Central Florida Blogger Conference (CFLBlogCon) set out to create their unique presentations, each speaker was asked to provide a list of “take-aways,” or what we expected each attendee would take away from our sessions.

Last Saturday, I arrived at the Orlando Science Center with a combination of a caffeine high and butterflies in my stomach, as I anticipated speaking at my “Blogging for a Cause” session. To be honest, given my anxiety level at the time, I didn’t have remarkably high expectations for what I thought I would get out of CFLBlogCon.

I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised!

One of the conference organizers, Katy Widrick delivers some heartfelt words to kick off the day in the Orlando Science Center Cinedome.

Aside from my own session, which (*AHEM*) was pretty darn awesome , I was able to take advantage of many other great seminars and workshops. Among my favorites were:

• Joscelyn Ramos Campbell’s “Playground Rules: How Brands and Bloggers Can Work Together”

• Julie Deily’s “Working with Brands”

• Matt Sokoloff’s Make Money from Your Blog

Noticing a pattern? While I’ve thoroughly enjoyed blogging to raise the public’s awareness of spina bifida, there are other platforms out there that I can earn money with, and as long as I love blogging and want to continue to do this, I have to figure out a business plan! 

These were just a few of the sessions I enjoyed. Equally valuable to me were the networking opportunities between sessions, the amazing keynote speech by Lou Mongello, and the chance to branch out and learn about topics I wouldn’t normally consider. 

Keynote speaker Lou Mongello was totally channeling Jerry Maguire during his speech as he encouraged attendees to pursue financial success while still doing what they love.

 

So, here are just a few things I was able to “take away” myself from the conference; lessons I hope will stick and allow me to grow as a professional and as a person: 

 

• It’s okay to make money as a blogger. It may sound silly, or even arbitrary, but I can’t stress enough the confusion and internal conflict that this one issue has evoked in me. I’ve been conflicted as to how to go about it and still maintain my authenticity in your eyes– my readers’ eyes. But I learned there are many different ways to skin this cat, and what works for one blogger may not work for another. 

• There are no natural-born “experts.” No, this wasn’t stated per se during the conference, but it dawned on me after several hours of hearing different speakers talk about how they worked hard to acquire their skills and “expertise.” We can all be experts at one thing or another. It just takes time, commitment to the craft, and lots of patience. 

• Most bloggers are eager to connect with other bloggers and help each other out. While yes, I have noticed a little bit of a “cutthroat” trend in this business, for the most part I’ve found that my fellow bloggers are more than eager to have you contact them with questions and pleas for help. There seems to be an unspoken “If you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” code of mutual loyalty in the blogosphere. So, while your favors might not always be paid in money, they will eventually be paid in an action, such as a promotional plug or by helping you with a technical aspect of blogging you might not understand. 

• Cultivating a “following” for your blog or social media outlets is more often than not a “hit-or-miss” strategy, as evidenced by the variety of advice– sometimes conflicting– from the different presenters. I also caught on to this during the Blogger Breakout session, during which bloggers were encouraged to hang out with other bloggers in their niche. I chose the non-profit writers, and met some pretty fantastic people. But one of the main concerns brought up was how to engage their community beyond just reading their posts. I found it to be a very thought-provoking conversation that challenged me to think of creative solutions to the everyday struggles of being a cause or non-profit blogger.

Kudos to the CFLBlogCon team for thinking of everything-- and everyone.

• Blogger conferences attract many incredibly talented photographers! It’s hardly a secret that blogging and photography often seem to be inextricably intertwined. My photography abilities are definitely lacking finesse and practice, but I’m so glad two amazing photographers were on hand on Saturday to make us all look professional and poised! A special thank-you goes out to Jim Hobart of Macbeth Photography, who took complimentary professional headshots (see mine!) of all the attendees! It was definitely a great opportunity to update my professional persona. I have to add that Jim was also my professor at UCF for Introduction to Advertising! It really is incredible to see that what goes around, comes around. For my final advertising project, the assignment was to design an ad about yourself, and think about how you would like to see yourself advertised. One of the last slides of my presentation on Saturday happened to be that ad! I continue to use it because it really gets to the heart of who I am, and what I fight for. Thanks, Jim, once again, for inspiring me a few years ago!

  

  One of my new headshots, courtesy of the über-talented Jim Hobart of Macbeth Photography. Check out his awesome work at MacbethPhoto.com!

Another photographer who is equally worthy of mention is my friend Josh Murdock, a Valencia College professor, a digital media guru, and fellow spina bifida cause activist. Thank you so much, Josh for taking beautiful photos capturing the day’s events! Here are a few he took during my session. Again, I’m so grateful that you took such great-quality photos of a special moment for me! 

One of the photos taken by Josh Murdock of my session. See more photos at: http://facebook.com/ProfessorJosh.

So, there you have it! Five things I loved about CFLBlogCon and that I learned from. Also, without further ado, here’s a direct link to the PDF of my presentation for anyone who might be interested. 

And here’s…the video! It’s not the best quality because I literally set my laptop on the table to “look up” at me. But alas, here it is. 

 

 

I’m now so excited to feel more connected to the Central Florida blogger community. While it’s important to put your name out there and try to be a success, it’s all the more important to build each other up and encourage each other as professionals, as valuable assets to the constantly-growing industry, and– as friends. 

Bess Auer is the lovely and fantastic founder of CFLBlogCon. Thanks Bess, for starting all this and inviting me to be a part of it!

Nick Lagalante of TimeDog is seriously one of the coolest guys you'll ever meet. It was great catching up with you!

I have absolute confidence that next year will be even more EPIC. 

And maybe just a little more prehistoric! 

Love, 

Laurita ♥

 

 

When I published the *now-somewhat-infamous* post “Standing on my Own Two Feet,” little did I imagine that, only months later, I would again be confronting my deeply-rooted self-esteem issues– on the runway.

God certainly has a wicked sense of humor. No, seriously.

It does seem like it’s been ages, but it was only a month ago when Elisa Camahort Page contacted me and made me the most ironic proposition in my life. Elisa asked me, Laurita, who had only months ago ranted publicly about my disdain for shoe shopping, to participate in a fashion show. I had suddenly discovered an F-word that I had always hated. Fashion. 

That word alone could bring to mind all the anger, resentment, and pain I felt at the fashion industry in singling out basically everyone whose bodies do not conform to the “standards” that are so pervasive in the mainstream media today.

My hatred for the fashion industry might seem irrational, and yet it is not entirely unfounded. I have, since early childhood, dealt with a lot of body image issues that are related to having spina bifida (see this post!).

Now, accepting or refusing Elisa’s invitation would mean my sense of vanity (yes, I do have a keen sense of vanity!) would be clashing against my sense of self-preservation in an epic battle of emotions. The scene of the battle? A huge ballroom at the Hilton New York.

So, it would be me against myself in this scenario!

When Darlene called me and we spoke for the first time, I hounded her with questions about the initial fitting and rehearsal, and “Do you think you’d be able to get shoes in my size?”

I’m nothing if not a raging cynic when it comes to the shoe department.

She assured me they’d be able to find some shoes for me to wear that night. Still, I worried, stressed, and yes, even cried about it, struggling to come to terms with my desire, and really, my need, to overcome this fear that had been plaguing me ever since I can remember.

To hear me worry about it, you would think that I have never wanted to be on stage. And yet, I graduated from a theatre program in high school and have always been in love with the performing arts. So, why was this any different? Well, in theatre, for the most part, you are being judged on an entire performance, not exclusively on your appearance.

And yes, even in theatre (sorry, I meant especially in theatre!), there were many moments when my self-confidence gave way and I failed to see my true potential, my true beauty. 

These are not easy habits to break, people.

To make a very long story a little bit shorter, I did eventually say yes to Elisa, to Darlene, to Kathryn, to all of the other ladies participating, and, in effect– to myself. 

A part of me felt that if I didn’t say yes, I would be forced to look at myself as a separate person, one to be pitied because of her self-hate. (Yes, pathetically I do this sometimes. When I’m in an episode of wallowing in self-pity, I tend to see myself as a separate entity and only then do I realize that this person is very much worth loving, worth valuing, just like all my loved ones are worth loving and valuing.)

The day of the fitting was one of the most exciting– and most liberating– days of my life. I had just arrived in Manhattan that afternoon, and the prospect of meeting not only the fashion show organizers, but the other women in the show, and actually trying on outfits that I might be wearing, was almost more than I could handle!

As soon as I walked into the penthouse suite of the hotel, I immediately found myself surrounded by new friends. It was so awesome, like being inducted into a secret sorority, without the hazing and overt discrimination. I was accepted. I was welcome.

They were looking forward to meeting me. 

That fitting session went by very quickly, what with all the giggles and “practice strutting” we engaged in. And yes, Darlene had found shoes that fit me…cute, black, sparkly ballerina slippers from 6pm.com. (Thanks for the loaner!)

Oh yes, my biggest fear, staring at me with several pairs of...heels.

Two days later, the day of the fashion show, hair washed and still wet, face clean, I found myself in one of those tell-tale hairdressing chairs, waiting to be *attended to* by a Paul Mitchell stylist.

I had no idea what she was going to do to me and that scared the hell out of me. 

My biggest fear, hair-wise, is that she’d somehow try to bring out the Puerto Rican waves I’d been trying to tame with keratin for years now. Her supervisor’s first words to me were, “How would you feel about going curly?”

You gotta be freakin’ kidding me. 

Then, my next thought was, “Well, if I come out looking like a white Beyoncé for one night, then so be it. When at BlogHer…” So I sat back, took my glasses off, and went with the flow.

As I rattled on to several people (I was all parts excited, nervous, and simply curious about these people who worked in the high fashion/beauty industry), I remember taking a look at my surroundings and still not believing where I was, and what I was about to do.

I was living an aspiring Manhattan model’s dream! 

I really didn’t feel I was worthy of it all, since I knew zilch about fashion.

Then, suddenly, she was finished with me. I looked in the mirror and saw…

For about 30 seconds, I wanted to run. And then, I loved it. Maybe it wasn’t me, at least not yet. But I liked who I saw. I felt attracted to the woman I saw staring back at me.

My fellow models agreed I looked hot. For now, that would satisfy my hungry vanity.

I was then directed to a nearby room, where makeup artists from Elizabeth Arden awaited us, weapons of mass concealer in hand. I was really getting pumped up now!

By this time, Mami had popped in to check on how things were going, and laughed in amazement at my transformation. She, too, loved the temporary change in coiffure.

When I saw the makeup complete, I then understood the hair. It was perfect harmony between my face and hair.

Me and my makeup artist-- she was amazing!!

As I changed backstage into a KamaliCulture animal print dress I would never, ever have tried on (God really pushed the envelope with this one!) and the miraculous pair of cute black shoes I was praying would remain on during the entire show, I grew anxious as I peeked through the curtain at the multiplying crowd. My ever-doting parents were in a row close to the stage.

Finally loving it!!

Good. Close enough so they can catch me if I stumble off the stage. 

Hands cold and sweaty, heart pounding, as if echoing the techno beat that had been playing for about 20 minutes, I saw the other girls lining up backstage, behind me, who would be first, and I said a final quick prayer.

I rolled out onstage in my wheelchair, stopping at the start of the runway, as if uncertain of what to do next. I smiled graciously at the cheering crowd. Then, as the slow party intro gave way to rap music, I stood up and strutted down the runway.

Everyone roared and cheered.

I wish I could say I recall recognizing the faces of people other than my parents, but all I can remember is the love I felt, emanating from the people who love me who were there to cheer me on.

It was glorious.

The really big downside was having to wait in the wings for the final walk down the runway with all the models, because I wasn’t able to see all the others when they had their turn. I’ve since watched the video (there are two parts), and I doubt I’ve seen it for the last time, though. Everyone was amazing. Everyone shined.

Several of the bloggers modeled with a dog, also dressed in haute couture. What I shame I couldn’t see the posh pups from where I was waiting!

As I readied myself for that final strut, I could feel my left shoe beginning to give way. I had made absolute sure that I had secured it the first time; now I found myself wishing I had done more to avoid a footwear malfunction.  Never mind; I was out of time. We were already out on stage.

Oh crap. My shoe slipped right off, and one of the girls behind me picked it up and handed it to me.

I wanted to throw myself on the floor in a toddleresque fit in the middle of the stage. 

Instead, I smiled at her, took the shoe, and shrugged and smiled at the audience, modeling the shoe in my hand.  My size-4 foot exposed, I strutted back along with the others.

After the show ended, and while I changed backstage into my civilian clothes, I nearly had a breakdown. Tears stung my eyes, because, while I felt defeated, being the only one among the girls that had happened to, I couldn’t counter my Mami’s arguments that I looked and performed fabulously.

I was really struggling to come to terms with feeling so secure of myself, for the first time in my life. Being admired so publicly for my looks wasn’t something I was used to, and I was grabbing at any excuse to compare myself to the other girls.

Then, I glanced around the room I was in, at the women I was with. Ladies of all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds, senses of style, ages, and levels of self-assurance. Kathryn and Darlene had really done it. And Elisa wanted me to be a part of it.

I should be proud right now, dammit! 

And all the girls had said I looked beautiful, cute, gorgeous, hot, fabulous, not *despite* or *save the fact that*.

I just was, and still am. Period. 

The truth is, no matter what negative self-criticism I tried to conjure up, there simply was no arguing with the woman in the mirror, who looked back at me with love, acceptance, and confidence.

At the end of the day, she is the *only one* worth listening to. 

I lovingly dedicate this post to all the rock stars who made this happen:

The Organizers 

Elisa Camahort Page, BlogHer co-founder

Kathryn Finney, BlogHer Editor-At-Large and founder of The Budget Fashionista

Darlene Gillard Jones, fashion stylist and PR agent

The Models

Sabrina Enyullata of Slice of Lemon

Stacy Jill Calvert of StacyJillCalvert.com

Erin Bailey of Scandalous Beauty Online

Sally McGraw of Already Pretty

Christina Brown of LoveBrownSugar

Heather Barmore of Poliogue

Christina McMenemy of A Mommy Story

Maria Niles of BlogHer and @marianiles

Marcy Swingle of Gastrochic

CeCe Olisa of Big Girl Blog

Reagan Breinholt of Hairdresser on Fire Blog

Grace Atwood of Stripes and Sequins

Alissa Wilson of Stylish Curves

Rhoda Vickers of Southern Hospitality Blog

Monique Maestas-Gower of BlogHer

Christine Koh of BostonMamas

Claire Sulmers of Fashion Bomb Daily

Jenni Radosevich of I Spy DIY

Pauline Campos of Aspiring Mama and Girl Body Pride

Erin Kotecki Vest of Queen of Spain

Erin of Queen of Spain, Stacy of StacyJillCalvert.com, and Pauline of Aspiring Mama and Girl Body Pride pose with me after the show. Love. These. Women.

Special thanks go out to my hair stylists and my makeup artist, whose names I wish I had written down. And a very special shout-out goes out to Francine Gingras and Courtney Weiss working on behalf of Elizabeth Arden, who amazingly took the time to listen to my story with such intent and enthusiasm that it still moves me to tears. Both have since reached out to me via E-mail, and those gestures have meant a lot to me.

To Rose and Larrel, the former who helped me get dressed backstage, and the latter who handled my chair when I wasn’t using it– thanks so much for taking the time to help a neophyte model, who most likely annoyed you with questions and doubts! I truly appreciate all that you did for me, for all of us.

With Rose and Larrel, who went above and beyond what any staff members at fashion shows should be expected to do!

Words alone cannot express the sheer pride and joy I felt at meeting you all and getting the opportunity to share in this experience with each of you. Please see the linky widget below this paragraph, where I hope you’ll share your own recap links! (Check out some more pics here on the Elizabeth Arden Facebook page.)  :)

This experience was made possible by the sponsorship and support of PetSmart, Elizabeth Arden,  6pm.com, and Paul Mitchell.